Wedding Ceremony!

Saturday morning we were able to sleep in again despite our intent to  get to early mass with Father – whoops! All of the food had been purchased, the animals slaughtered, the beer and wine… ready.  Not cooled, of course.  We are learning to like warm beer as a necessary part of survival here in Padibe.  🙂 Tommy arrived early with Otim John Bosco, the head of the education committee and master of ceremonies for the wedding. I was able to meet him for the first time this morning and he seems like the one we want to work with.  He is poised, dressed very smartly (which is more valued than we can understand in this culture), and very articulate. Also very joyful! As the men set up, we were told to stay inside and get ready while everyone set up the chairs, the tables, the food, the microphone system… and, in true African style, the wedding was supposed to start at 12:30, but we found ourselves sitting in the kitchen waiting to hear that we were on standby until… yes… 2:00 p.m. My preparation for this wedding ceremony was quite a bit different from the last.  Most importantly, Shawn helped me to get ready, to perfectly position the flower pedals in my hair, to calm down my nerves, to offer me the Ugandan version of an early morning hair salon mimosa (yep, warm beer) while we waited.  At about 12:30, Sr. Judith arrived with a real wedding cake – three layers, baked in an oven.  She said she had been up until 1:00 in the morning making it!  Man, am I grateful for her.  Just before heading out, we asked her to do the “smart check” – are we dressed smartly or stupidly – and she pointed out that I needed a petticoat (these people are so British, but in all honestly, you could kind of see through my white maxi dress, so you can’t really blame the culture for that one :)).  She hurriedly ran to town to see if she could get me a slip, while Shawn and I attacked (literally) an old t-shirt, tearing it apart and pinning it back together to form a jerry-rigged slip for me.  I am so grateful that Judith has come to the rescue as my friend.  Yesterday she took time to explain the clan fights in more depth and today she was on the look-out for the judgement check.  It seems that after coming to the US she has a better understanding of what it’s like to be the outsider and a certain sympathy for me.  I am grateful to have a woman who can be my shield in this way.

Finally, at 2:00 in the afternoon, Deacon Alfred (the one who is staying with Fr. Romano now) came to alert us that we were on stand-by!  And just like that, the people came to get us from the church, dancing and singing in typical Ugandan style.  Father Romano led us down the aisle of colorfully dressed men and women, dancing the whole way through.  We have the video footage, but I am skeptical to post it so publicly, as we are clearly WHITE and clumsy while these people have had rhythm pumped into their blood since the womb.  We arrived to the celebration grounds where Otim presented us, the wedding party, the church members, the what… This was followed by the introduction of everyone who attended, followed by the introduction of the introduction (again, the formalities of the colonial system are quite laborious).  Anyway, after much pomp, the celebration continued with some speeches from Tommy, Shawn, and myself (where we reiterated that this marriage would not be possible without the people of Padibe and this sister parish relationship).  We then cut the cake, the tradition asking that all of our close friends hold onto us as we took the knife and sliced through each layer of the cake as we recited “In the name of the Father (slice), the Son (slice), and the Holy Spirit (extra big slice).  The women then cut the cake and shared small slices with everyone in the attendance.  We, of course, had to feed each other cake and Shawn took the opportunity to nail me in the face with a triple sized bite.  We got a big laugh for that — it seems that the people here like when we are human, also shown by the huge echo of laughter when Shawn tried to booty dance up on me, passionately lip-synching to the Ugandan hip-hop music later on in the evening.  🙂

Soon after, our friends Bob Okello and his wife, Nighty, and daughters, Michelle and Aber, showed up from Gulu.  These people were some of the first Shawn met when he came to the Archdiocese and have continued to remain friends with us since.  I remembered meeting his daughters in 2011, quite possibly the most affectionate, bright and well-versed English speaking children I have met and after a little encouragement, they came over and sat in my lap, dancing and laughing with me.  Aber (the oldest) played with my hair while Michelle – the 2 year old! – jokingly kept attempting to sneak a drink of my wine.  Later, the entertainment arrived — a group of local women who maintain the cultural dances — and danced a few of their wedding dances while we watched.  They encouraged me to join and after awhile I think I got the hang of it.  It took a few glasses of wine and a lot of laughing at myself before mastery. Later on, we brought out the cases of beer for everyone to have, and we laughed at the awkward hesitation not really found at an American wedding. Everyone just kind of stared at the cases and when offered said, “no, no I shouldn’t.” Not Shawn though! 🙂  Later Fr. Romano would explain that people are hesitant to drink in front of the parish priests.  But in typical Fr. Romano style, he cracked one open, tied up his priestly robe around his waist and started dancing with a homeless wedding crasher – that got the party started! The dancing ensued and the women taught me some of the traditional dance steps, and we enjoyed. As the night went on, the traditional music ceased and hip hop and reggae music took over as things started to get wilder. Some of the youth started talking to me more freely, laughing as you would imagine some college freshmen meeting for the first time in the international dorm.  And, for the first time, if only for awhile at least, I felt like one of them.